Goodbye Two Thousand and Seventeen

Hey guys, 

I've become addicted to Mince Pies and in a matter of hours, the two that are in the box currently sat in the kitchen, will be gone. . . . by me!! 

We are in the final days of 2017, in fact the last weekend of 2017 and what a year it has been! 

I've a few highlights. . . . travelling to Ireland a few times and falling in love with Dublin, having my own domain and going to DISNEYLAND are just a few to name! Disneyland was a dream, I've never been to such a magical place. 

DISNEYLAND 2017 

A few years ago I did a campaign called Take Back what's Yours which encouraged you to take back something you wanted in life and I wanted to have my life back. I reread this blog a few days ago and it made me think about how much my life has changed since then. I wanted to take back my life which was something I felt I had no control over. Whilst writing that blog, I was going through a bad patch where my anxiety was at it's worst. I pretty much had sleepless nights, I doubted everything I did and if I'm honest I wasn't too sure on anything I did. My goal for 2015 was to take back control of my life, my anxiety, get rid of doubts and believe more in myself. 

And that's exactly what I did. 

Two years on . . . . here we are. 

I have control of my life, I know my goals, my dreams and my anxiety has it's moments but generally is okay. 2017 has actually been a good year and I've learnt a lot of lessons this year. 

One lesson I've learnt is that it's ok to not please everyone. Not everyone will like you or want whats best for you and that's fine. You just ignore them and focus on what you've got to do. Sometimes it's hard because it's frustrating how people can treat you, or others in a certain way because they dislike you. But at the end of the day you've just got to get on with it. You'll always have that one person who can't get over things or insist on being childish. Just don't sink to there level and focus on you. That's something I've learnt this year and with learning that I had done things when actually I hadn't, you kinda think . . . really?!! And as annoying and frustrating it is tryna set the record straight, sometimes its easier to shake your head, say right and laugh about it'! Cause the more you worry, get angry or get upset about, it's not worth loosing sleep over. . . just get on with your life, ignore those haters!!  

Another lesson I'm still learning is to confront those who I need to confront. Mainly being two people . . . .  (A and B if you've been reading my life story) I've got this block when I see them in the street and I can't seem to make eye contact or even hold my head high. I feel like I'm that scared five year old child hiding under the bed as soon as I seem them. Even though I'm ready to confront them, I still fall to pieces. I am learning to stand and be strong. I am going to look them in the eye and hold my head high. I've done nothing wrong and my anxiety goes all over the place and I'm filled with a mixture of emotion . . . anger, upset, scared . . . I'm learning that I can and will look them in the eye and will confront them at some point, if I ever get the chance too and just tell them what they are missing. 

Another thing I've learnt is to love myself. I've had my moments where I haven't loved who I am. . . I got body shamed this time last year and I called called 'fat'.  If I'm honest, it really knocked me, I lost my self esteem and I felt like I wasn't good enough. I literally thought this about myself and hated myself because of the comment that was made. I tried starving myself, throwing up after I ate and diet pills . . . it doesn't make you happy and I found that I loved food too much and I wasn't good when I was starving or feeling like crap! I've always been healthy and I don't need to hurt my body to make myself 'skinny' The main thing was that I am healthy and happy with the way I looked and my body. Yeah I might not be the thinnest but I love my body and my body loves me back! I have wobbly bits, curves and that's fine. I'm happy and that's all that matters. If others don't like it then that's fine cause I'm not gunna change the way I am for others. 


Two Thousand and Eighteen holds a few exciting things such as moving into a flat with my fiancee and my first visit to USA . . . New York here I come . . . Plus I'm another year closer to 30!!! eek!! 

So thank you Two Thousand and Seventeen for an amazing year, you've taught me a lot and for that I am grateful. 

Dear Readers, 

I wish you a happy New Year and I'll see you in Two Thousand and Eighteen. 

Till Next Year . . .